One year ago today, my brother told us they’d left for the hospital. Baby Lilly was on the way.
We never expected the emotional roller coaster that followed.
As a mother who’s got two babies waiting in heaven I’ve never met, I’m well acquainted with the apprehension that laces the joyful anticipation of new life.
With life comes pain – sometimes disease, but always, death. Everything in between depends on how realistic we are about accepting that fact and living each day like it’s our last.
The Fear of Comforting
I remember the unexpected waves of anguish that rolled over me when a new mother entered the room with her perfect baby. I was still reeling from my miscarriage, wondering if I’d ever hold a baby of my own. I fled the room, hating how my heaving sobs refused to shush, knowing I was traumatizing that friend who’d done nothing wrong.
Since that time, I’ve had friends lose babies far beyond the first trimester. Some got to hold their babies. Some got to see their child walk; some saw them graduate. I never know what to say, torn between my desire to comfort and my fear of inflicting further pain.
In the end, all I know to do is what the Bible says: “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
I say all that to say that there is a time to rejoice, even in a world rife with pain. We do everyone wrong when we refuse to acknowledge God’s miracles for fear of hurting those we perceive as “not receiving a miracle.”
This video is an attempt to praise God for His goodness to our family, hoping that in so doing I haven’t suggested that He is not good when the “ending” isn’t always happy.
Because, thanks to Jesus, the ending can always be happy.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
Here is Baby Lilly today, who’s developmentally leapfrogged her cousin, my precious Baby John, who’s two months older…
How has God recently astounded you with answered prayer?